the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
