xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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