I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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