you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
