You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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