We won't sleep together?
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
