It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
