dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
