i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
