i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
