Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
