I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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