you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
