I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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