I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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