new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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