she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
