so explain again why im purple
no
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
