You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
There's even glitter on my cock...
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