I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
