Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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