Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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