Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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