Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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