are you so shy because you have an std?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
