I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
