question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
