Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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