Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
