I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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