Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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