Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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