He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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