You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i think my cat just said my name.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
