um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i will never coherently bang her
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
