I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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