Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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