im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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