you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
