Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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