The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
