Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
