Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize