the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
