He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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