did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
