How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
