My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
