ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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