I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
