so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
