Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
