so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am naked and annoyed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
