I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
