i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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