Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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