I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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