What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
