Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
