oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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