im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
