Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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