wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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