All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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