Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
