if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I cut my penus on the lid.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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