it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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