I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
